The not-so-perfect couple

We have something to share with you guys. We’re not a perfect couple. We’re actually far from it. The beautiful (and sometimes deceiving) thing about the blogging and social media world is that we can all choose what we share, and tailor how others perceive us.

That couple that always has midday coffee dates and never seems to go to work? Dream couple that never seems to fight? That perfect match that has the same hobbies, exercises and works together? According to our social media accounts, we’re all of the above.
But the reality is that we do little things that annoy each other, occasionally really get into it, and very often find it difficult to make time for each other.

We’ve been together just short of four years, with one of those years being long distance. This year has been a different and challenging one. As most of you know, I’ve spent the past few years trying to get into OVC. This year I applied, but and got that dreaded “small envelope” in the mail. Because of a slight detour of plans, I’ve spent the past year in my first real full-time position, often doing double shifts between a few jobs.

CJ is a recent grad at CU, and has spent his summer developing his business plans and working long serving hours, which are often opposite to my own work hours.

Our busy schedules mean that we rarely get to see each other awake. CJ would either be coming home to me sleeping, or I’d be rushing out the door in the morning with a frantic “LOVEYOUBYE”. While we’ve gone on the occasional dinner date, they were sometimes rushed, and we often sat together, glad to be in each other’s company, but completely spent from a long week of work.

Being overworked and overtired, with more responsibilities than we’ve had before, has taught us that its so easy to put your relationship on the back burner while life just happens. I’m certainly no expert, but I think this is where couples lose each other.

With all that in mind, this past year has definitely been a lesson in communication and striking a balance between work and life. It wasn’t an easy lesson to learn, and we arguably have a lot more to learn, especially as more of these real “adult” responsibilities are added to our plate. I’ll admit that this year was even scary for me. I was terrified of being a couple that only talks about work, doesn’t laugh together, and just allows the passion to wither away.

Months ago, we planned a small getaway to Montreal. While it’s just two hours away and might hardly be considered a vacation, its something that both of us have looked forward to for the whole summer. We stayed at the Hotel Bonaventure in the heart of downtown Montreal, which had a gorgeous rooftop, saltwater pool and terrace bordered by lush gardens. While we didn’t have any real solid plans for our holiday (other than going to the Biodome, which I absolutely insisted was a must!), we knew we wanted to relax and reconnect with each other.

We got dressed up for each other and spent every night drinking and dancing, slept in as late as we wanted, and woke up to have brunch at 2pm. Our days were spent indulging in a bit of shopping and discovering amazing local spots like Toi, Moi & Cafe, which served the most amazing eggs benny, and Fly Jin, a sophisticated Izakaya bar in Old Port. While we’ve both been to Montreal a handful of times, we’ve always found ourselves in the more touristy spots, so it was great to take in the stunning city from a local perspective.

We spent every waking moment together, laughing and enjoying each others company, and even learning new things about each other — and it was so refreshing. After a very long year, these few days away were just what we needed. While everyday can’t be like this, it really opened our eyes to the importance of open communication and the value of making time for each other, in keeping the flame alive. It also reminded us of just how much we love each other, and how that love is always there no matter how busy we each get.

So while we have returned to our everyday lives, we promised each other keep a little bit of that “Montreal flair” in mind whenever life starts moving too quickly.